The series will take place in 2025, and England have just asked Zimbabwe to tour them.
The last time Zimbabwe played England was in 2007.
Overall you will not be surprised to know that England has beaten Zimbabwe a lot.
But wait a minute, what is going on at the start? Zimbabwe is doing something special.
It is actually worth looking at just the 90s alone. I’m cheating a little because I threw one in from early 2000.
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Remember Zimbabwe didn’t play their first Test until ’92, so this is not how you would expect to be against one of the biggest teams in the world.
Of course, it is worth remembering that England were absolutely terrible through much of the 90s.
And so that played a part, but even then, they should not have lost to Zimbabwe, and certainly not so many times.
This is just bad. There is no way to talk yourself around this. Zimbabwe were entering cricket and hammering a team that started the entire thing.
In 1996/97, England toured Zimbabwe for five matches, three ODIs and two Tests. England did not win a single match.
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And of course, they found a way to embarrass themselves further when they were chasing 205.
They were smashing the ball everywhere, even though Zimbabwe were going all in on some of the most defensive bowling ever.
Tossing the ball miles down legside with hugely defensive fields to try and hold on for a draw.
But still, England got close until it came down to the final ball and England just couldn’t get home.
That is fine, they clearly dominated the match.
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And had the umpires been a little more friendly to them on the legside defensive bowling, they probably win.
Then David Bumble Lloyd - England’s then coach - went on one of the weirder rants for a match that ended in a draw.
It was a bit like England claiming they had won the Edgbaston Test, but more aggressive.
An England leader doing that about a draw against Zimbabwe was not an ideal look.
England were playing a team that in their first 20 Tests had a single victory.
Congratulations team, you almost beat a team that never beats anyone in Tests.
You look through England’s time against Zimbabwe and you keep finding fun things.
Like this one of the most amazing quadrangular ODI series ever.
It was not an ODI series though, because one of the teams was Australia A who only played List A.
England went up against Australia A and Zimbabwe and ended up behind Australia A.
Why? Because Zimbabwe blew England away on the back of Grant Flower’s 84* from 143 balls.
If you don’t know, Andy’s brother was one of the slowest-scoring players in cricket.
So this is a truly special loss. It wasn’t even the only time a Zimbabwean grinder squeezed out a victory against them.
Alistair Campbell made 80 from 136 in the chase in 2000.
Zimbabwe were a plucky team.
They had the ability to stay with you, and England in this era almost never blew anyone away.
And so Zimbabwe’s long order of guys who could chip around, a bunch of plucky medium-fast guys helping bowlers like Heath Streak and Paul Strang.
For a long team, they were a team that was hard to beat.
Sadly, the only time Zimbabwean cricket is mentioned inside England any more is when pointing out Jimmy Anderson’s debut.
Which on its own kind of shows how long his career has been.
England just don’t play them at all anymore.
They actually played them an incredible amount from 2000 until 2004, and since then the only match was at a T20 World Cup in 2007.
Not that Zimbabwe have always been a team since then, or had many of their best players around.
But it’s a long time between games.
Also worth mentioning is that India has not played them in a Test since 2005, and Australia since 2003.
There are a few teams that just suddenly see them at World Cups and say, “Oh yeah, I remember them, South Africa’s friend, right?”.
Also, just for fun, it is worth remembering that when Anderson made his debut, his first over went for 18 runs.
That batter was Dion Ebrahim, who averaged 22 in Tests with a strike rate of 39.
It’s about the least likely person to take down a 600-wicket taker you will ever see.
There is one win here I need to explain. At the 2003 World Cup Zimbabwe beat England, and because of that, they made it through to the Super Sixers while England failed again.
But Zimbabwe did not win the game.
Because England decided not to play because of safety concerns and also Robert Mugabe was around.
This was after the Henry Olonga and Andy Flower protests.
But also there were death threats from The Sons and Daughters of Zimbabwe directly to the England team.
But the real loss against England was back in 1992.
Remember Zimbabwe made 134 all out.
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