An obituary is a final tribute that captures the story of someone's life and offers comfort to those left behind.
Losing a loved one is a deeply personal and emotional experience. In the midst of grief, the task of writing an obituary can feel overwhelming.
It's a chance to honor their life and memory, but capturing the essence of a person in just a few paragraphs can be daunting.
At its heart, an obituary shares a story that honors someone you love and helps others remember and celebrate their life.
This article shares practical guidance and real-life obituary examples to help you write a tribute that truly honors your loved one's life.
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Writing an obituary can be a collaborative effort that involves multiple family members and close friends.
Tip: Collect input from multiple people, but choose one or two individuals to write and finalize the obituary.
Families can focus on what matters most.
Don't let the pressure to get it right add to your burden.
We'll walk you through the common elements of an obituary, providing clear steps and examples of well-written obituaries for inspiration.
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We'll also offer tips on structuring the information and crafting a heartfelt tribute that celebrates your loved one's life.
Let's turn this difficult task into a collaborative effort of remembrance.
Common Elements Most Obituaries Include
An obituary serves as a public announcement of someone's passing and a tribute to their life.
While there's some flexibility in how these are written, most obituaries share a core set of elements to inform and honor the deceased.
Here's a breakdown of the information you'll typically find:
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Death announcement
- Full name: This includes the deceased's given name, middle name (if applicable), and surname. Nicknames they were widely known by can also be included in parentheses. Tip: If your person had a nickname, include both their full name and nickname early in the obituary.
- Age at time of passing: This lets readers know how long the person lived.
- Place of residence: This specifies the city and town where the deceased resided at the time of their passing.
- Date and location of death (optional): Some obituaries include the specific date and location of death, while others may simply state "passed away peacefully."
Biographical information
- Life summary: This is a concise but meaningful overview of the deceased's life journey. It often highlights their birthplace, educational background, career achievements, and significant milestones.
- Memorable moments and accomplishments: This section allows for personalization. You can mention hobbies, passions, awards, volunteer work, or anything that showcases the essence of who they were and what they valued.
Family acknowledgement
- Surviving family: This lists the deceased's closest surviving relatives, typically including spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings, and parents.
Service information (optional)
- Funeral/Memorial details: If a funeral or memorial service is planned, the obituary will include the date, time, and location of the event.
Additional information (optional)
- Photo: A picture is a powerful way to visually remember the person.
- Acknowledgments and donations: The family may express gratitude to caregivers or medical personnel and suggest donations to charities the deceased supported in lieu of flowers.
By incorporating these elements, you can create a respectful and informative obituary that honors the memory of your loved one.
Below is a simple obituary template if it would be easier for you to start with something instead of a blank canvas.
It covers the essential elements and can be customized with personal details, stories, and meaningful additions.
[First Name/Nickname] was born on [Date of Birth] in [Place] to [Parent Names].
In [Year], [First Name/Nickname] married [Spouse/Partner’s Name], and they shared [# of Years] together.
[First Name] spent much of [his/her/their] career working as a [Job Title] at [Company or Organization].
Outside of work, [he/she/they] enjoyed [Hobbies, Interests, Volunteer Work].
[First Name/Nickname] is survived by [List of Surviving Family Members].
A [Funeral/Memorial/Celebration of Life] will be held on [Date] at [Location] beginning at [Time].
In lieu of flowers, the family suggests donations to [Organization Name].
African American Funeral Observation
The Homegoing Ceremony
Religious Landscape Survey, 83% of African-Americans identify as Christian, with 45% specifically identifying as Baptist.
Because the funeral traditions in this community are strongly rooted in religion, the homegoing ceremony is one of the most popular types of funeral services in the United States.
A thoughtfully written obituary also offers clarity about arrangements and a record of milestones that shaped a person's journey.
What is a homegoing ceremony?
A homegoing service is very similar to a traditional Christian funeral.
However, a homegoing is more than just a funeral-it's also a celebration of African-American culture, music, love and strength in the face of loss.
Functionally, the homegoing service will have many of the same elements as a Christian funeral, including a musical prelude, prayers, songs, readings from Scripture, obituary reading, eulogy, and often a viewing of the deceased person.
Homegoings often feature music by a church choir that sings gospel hymns, and often includes space for family and friends to address the congregation with brief remarks.
History of Homegoing Ceremonies
Sadly, the history behind homegoing ceremonies dates all the way back to the days of slavery.
Slaves that were abducted from Africa believed that their souls would return to their homeland after death.
White slave owners did not allow their slaves to congregate unsupervised, fearing uprising-even to conduct funerals and mourn their dead.
Christian values were instilled to subdue the slaves and encourage compliance with forced labor.
Despite the sinister reasoning for teaching Christianity to slaves, Old Testament stories promised freedom from slavery and therefore resonated with them.
Religious events like funerals became the only permissible way for slaves to congregate together.
The idea that death marks the end of pain and suffering, and returns the soul to heaven, is a belief that has persevered to the present day.
After enduring so much pain, it's easy to see why the emphasis is on celebration, rather than sorrow.
What sets a homegoing service apart from other memorials?
Modern homegoing services involve the whole community, and usually take place in a Christian church.
Even those who were not devoutly Christian in life may have a homegoing service that involves biblical prayer, gospel music and an emphasis on ascension to heaven.
Something that sets homegoing services apart from other kinds of funeral is that a homegoing can last as long as needed by mourners.
Friends and relatives are often encouraged to speak to the congregation about the life of the deceased person, and this opportunity for many to say their piece.
Stories, tributes, prayers and words of comfort are offered for all in attendance, and these often extend the service well beyond the timeframe of a traditional funeral.
In fact, some homegoings can last hours, like Aretha Franklin's televised celebration of life in August of 2018.
Another difference between a homegoing and a Christian funeral is that a homegoing service may include community calls-to-action, political messages or perspectives on racial inequality, particularly where the death was the result of violence.
Depending on the family, the cause of death might not be mentioned in the service, but guests can expect to hear a sermon that relates the death to a bigger picture.
Mourners will also typically wear their 'Sunday best' at a homegoing service.
Funeral fashion at a homegoing service often involves more formal church wear, complete with boutonnieres, veils, and extravagant hats.
Music, community emotion, storytelling and prayer make a homegoing a memorable way to remember those who have passed.
