Marriages in Cameroon are not small-scale affairs, regardless of the budget. Instead, they are multiple-day events full of food, dance, and celebration.
One of the ultimate cultural experiences in Cameroon is a traditional wedding. These weddings are composed of multiple parts taking place in different cities across the country over consecutive weekends, representing a serious investment of time and energy. Let's delve into the fascinating details of these celebrations.
Cameroon Wedding - FLAVECK@2024 - Traditional Ceremony
The Journey to Bafoussam
The first part of one wedding saga involved a four-hour drive from Yaoundé to Bafoussam, a city in the west of Cameroon. This journey provided insights into Cameroonian culture and transportation.
There aren’t that many cars on the roads connecting cities. Vehicles are somewhat of a luxury for many Cameroonians, and if people do have a need to travel between cities, they typically take one of the many buses that act as the major source of transport around the country.
Along the way, the universal signal for a broken-down vehicle is to pull up tall clumps of grass from the side of the road and toss them in the road before the breakdown. Cameroonian "rest stops" are little village watering holes where drivers can stop and buy a drink or get some food. This might include a plate of bananas with porcupine and rat.
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Upon arriving in Bafoussam, the first lesson learned was: never show up on time for African celebrations. Even the hosts are likely not to be ready if you do.
The Traditional Ceremony
The traditional ceremony is a vital component of the overall marriage. It involves a formal meeting between the two families to agree on the terms of the marriage.
Walking into the family home of the bride immediately turned out to not to be the situation expected. Chairs had been set up on either side of the room facing each other, with an empty space in the middle. Each side of the room was occupied by one of the two family parties, and guests were expected to sit on the groom’s side since they were a part of his group.
The bride’s father, as the head of the family, led the ceremony, speaking in French and Bamileke to set the tone for the evening: a formal negotiation between the families.
Negotiations and Wordplay
Key figures from each family engage in a back-and-forth conversation, using clever wordplay to validate the marriage agreement. For instance, the bride’s mother might jokingly accuse the groom’s family of being thieves, to which the groom’s uncle would respond with honorable intentions.
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Once the father finished his speech, key figures from each family started to engage in this back and forth conversation that I still don’t quite understand. It seemed partially scripted, though still required both parties to engage in clever wordplay to convince the other that the marriage agreement was valid and worth upholding.
The Bride Identification Game
The bride’s family plays a game where they claim the bride hasn’t arrived yet. Elder women bring out girls covered in fabric, and the groom’s family must identify the bride and pay a portion of the dowry to the mother.
Well, they elder women of the bride’s family started bringing out girls one at a time, each covered from head to toe in fabric to conceal their identity, and the groom’s family had to correctly identify the bride among them and pay a portion of the dowry to the mother in order to have the bride.
We literally went through three different women and three different guessing games before the groom’s family finally decided were being presented with the right girl and identified the bride.
Map of Cameroon showing its various regions.
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Sing-Off and "Money Slapping"
After unveiling the bride, the two sides engage in a wedding-themed sing-off, followed by dancing. Guests then "bless" the bride and groom by pressing paper money onto their foreheads.
Once the bride was unveiled, the two sides started what I can only describe as a wedding-themed sing-off. One member of the family would start singing, and the rest of the family would join in the song.
They brought forth the bride and the groom one at a time, started dancing and singing, and then everyone started going forward and slapping money on the bride’s or groom’s forehead. As in actually pressing paper money bills onto their forehead.
Traditional African Wedding Attire.
Sharing of Kola Nuts and Palm Wine
The bride and groom share kola nuts, symbolizing friendship and unity, and matango (palm wine) with all guests. Kola nuts are known for their bitter taste, while palm wine is a staple alcoholic beverage at African weddings.
The first element was the kola nut, an important symbol that represents friendship and unity. The bride came around and shared the kola nuts with everyone as a sign of gratitude for being a part of the experience. The second element was matango, also known as palm wine.
Exploring the Market in Bafoussam
A visit to one of the principal markets in Bafoussam offers a glimpse into the region's unique goods. Haggling is essential for securing good deals. Traditional Bamileke fabric is particularly popular, though expensive.
Since we had a few hours, we headed over to one of the principal markets in Bafoussam and spent some time wandering through the corridors looking through shops sporting all kinds of goods that are specific to the West region. As with all shopping in Africa, negotiation is the name of the game, and you can get a really good deal if you are willing to haggle for a while.
The storefronts display an eclectic assortment of hats, fabrics, spices, jewelry, and ritualistic elements. Horsetail whips are used in important ceremonies, including funerals, to demonstrate power and authority. Stools adorned with colorful beads or shells serve a symbolic purpose.
The Civil Wedding
The civil wedding is where the couple legally declares their marriage by signing their names into the state registry. Given the families' influence, the ceremony was held at the home of the national minister of scientific research.
Saturday was the civil wedding, the one where the couple would sign their names into the state registry and legally declare their marriage. Normally this happens at city hall, but given the weight and influence of the families being married, they were able to bring the state officials to another site to conduct the services.
Surprising Aspects of the Civil Ceremony
During the service, the bride and groom publicly declare their choice of marriage type (monogamy or polygamy) and whether they want to combine their finances. The language used emphasizes traditional family roles, with the man responsible for loving and upholding his wife and the wife submitting to her husband as the head of the family.
At one point in the service, the bride and the groom were both asked in turn what type of marriage they were choosing - monogamy or polygamy. Both are legal in Cameroon, and polygamy is actively practiced in the northern regions of the country. Another thing they were asked was whether they wanted to combine their finances or keep them separate, and they had to declare their choice there in front of everyone as well.
They heavily emphasized traditional family roles, declaring that it was the man’s responsibility to love and uphold the sanctity of his wife and it was the wife’s duty to submit to her husband and allow him his rightful place as head of the family.
Legal Recognition of Customary Marriages
On December 23, 2024, Cameroon’s National Assembly passed Law No. 2024/016, granting legal recognition to customary marriages. This law elevates customary marriages to the same legal status as civil marriages, requiring spouses to register their marriage with the civil registrar. This ensures official recognition and helps protect the rights of spouses.
Under the new law, a marriage will not be recognized as valid unless it is recorded by a civil registrar. According to article 49, spouses who have entered into marriage are required to declare it to the civil registrar for transcription.
Traditional Weddings vs. Western Weddings
Many respondents note a decline in traditional African weddings due to the influence of Western weddings. Yet, marriage remains a special celebration of life's continuity, with the bride treated with respect as a link between ancestors and future generations.
Sadly, many of our respondents feel that traditional African weddings are becoming less popular amid an influx of the so-called ‘White Western’ African weddings. Yet marriage is still a special celebration of the’ natural continuity of life’ in every part of Africa, with the bride being treated with maximum respect because she is a link between the ancestors and the anticipated unborn children that will result from the marriage.
Diverse Customs Across Africa
Across Africa, marriage customs vary widely. In Togo, traditional marriages performed by chiefs are legally binding, while in other regions, the groom's family may need to "pay a fee" to symbolically "bring the comedy on" during the wedding celebrations.
There are three types of marriage in Togo. The civil, the Christian, and the traditional. Chiefs are sanctioned to perform traditional marriages, which are legally binding. The Christian wedding is not legally binding in or of itself. Couples often perform all three types of marriage.
In Ivory Coast, it’s customary to wear clothes from different groups of people throughout the day, showcasing the diversity of the region.
The Significance of Bride Price
The payment of bride price is a common practice, often involving negotiations between the groom and the bride's family. This can include items ranging from livestock to money, followed by a judgment of the bride's fitness and the adequacy of the payment by village elders.
He is given a list of items that the family (including grandparents, etc.) require, and he has to agree to provide all the items on the list… The family of the bride will cook lots of food and it is a big celebration. The guests will also bring a suitcase for the bride and this will contain clothes, shoes, make-up, handbags blankets and money, then throughout the evening the ladies will open the suitcase and help themselves to the items in the case…
In procession the groom and his extended family literally carry the brideprice to the family (father’s) residence. The procession is led by the women of the groom’s extended family, who sing and set the rhythm.
| Custom | Description |
|---|---|
| Multiple-Day Celebrations | Weddings span several days, filled with food, dance, and festivities. |
| Traditional Ceremony | Formal meeting between families to agree on marriage terms, involving negotiations and wordplay. |
| Bride Identification Game | Groom's family identifies the bride from a group of veiled women, paying a dowry. |
| Sing-Off and Money Slapping | Festive singing, dancing, and "blessing" the couple by pressing money on their foreheads. |
| Sharing Kola Nuts and Palm Wine | Symbolic sharing of kola nuts (friendship) and palm wine with guests. |
| Civil Wedding | Legal declaration of marriage with public choices on monogamy/polygamy and finances. |
| Legal Recognition of Customary Marriages | Law No. 2024/016 grants customary marriages the same legal status as civil marriages. |
| Bride Price | Negotiations and payments from the groom's family to the bride's family. |
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